


For Your Own Protection

by mystiri1



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Bureaucracy, Community: one_character, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-31
Updated: 2010-10-31
Packaged: 2017-10-13 00:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystiri1/pseuds/mystiri1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SOLDIERs have always practiced with their own weapons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Your Own Protection

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: 11. Safety First

Sephiroth was used to vast amounts of paperwork crossing his desk. He accepted that some of them would be irrelevant, knew that some would be life-threateningly urgent (and occasionally too late), and that others would be incomprehensible, illegible, or possibly both. The papers included field reports, requests for supplies, and interdepartmental memos, as well as spreadsheets, rosters and orders. They could be annoying, irritating, boring or frustrating, and he dealt with them all with the same unruffled aplomb, because there was no point in getting mad at a piece of paper. Or thirty of them, stapled together, in really small type.

That was why it was unusual for him to be glaring at a report, considering just how slowly he could make it burn through the judicious application of a fire spell. Sudden immolation would be too kind for such an absurd document.

“Hey, uh, Seph?”

Green eyes snapped upwards to focus on the SOLDIER peering tentatively around the edge of his office door. Zack flinched back. Sephiroth tried to moderate his gaze from murderous death-glare to something a little more welcoming.

“Come in, Zack,” he said, his voice only containing the slightest hint of growl.

“You sure? ‘Cos I can come back later.”

Sephiroth sighed, and rubbed at the back of his neck. The muscles there were knotted with tension, and the simple act of looking up from the desk had bought it rather forcibly to his notice. “Yes.”

Zack pushed the door right open and sauntered over to his favourite chair. “So what’s the problem?”

He considered denying for a moment that there was a problem, but this was Zack, and while he might seem incredibly simple at times, the other man wasn’t stupid. Plus, Sephiroth had never been in the habit of lying outright to his friend, even if he didn’t always share the whole truth.

“This report is the problem.”

“It’s not one of mine, is it?” Zack asked. “Because I tried really hard to get all those coffee-stains out of it, and I didn’t mean to make the print run on the third page, but I’m pretty sure that I can remember what it said -”

Sephiroth made a mental note to dig out Zack’s latest report at the earliest opportunity. “No, this is from the accounting department. They have been concerned at the way SOLDIER and the training programme have been increasing the demands on the Medical department’s budget. So they undertook to evaluate our practices and advise us -” _me_ “-on how we might reduce injuries and other unnecessary financial drains.”

“What? Are you talking about those suits who’ve been hanging around the practice rooms these last couple of weeks?”

“That would be them,” Sephiroth acknowledged grimly. He’d ignored their presence, as observation from another department was scarcely unusual in a company as fiercely competitive as ShinRa. Perhaps he should have invited them to observe from a much closer position – like the end of a practice blade.

“They looked like – I gotta see this.” Zack leaned forward to accept the report from Sephiroth.

He flicked through the pages, skimming the text with long practice. His lips moved occasionally, although Sephiroth was sure it was more in the nature of a silent commentary than a reflection of what the text actually said. And, as expected, Zack didn’t remain silent for long. He reached one of the parts that Sephiroth had found particularly hard to digest, and began to read aloud.

“The majority of injuries during training result from the use of bladed weapons in sparring matches. This practice is clearly dangerous, and poses an unnecessary risk to personnel and company resources. It is our recommendation that the use of weapons with sharpened blades for practice purposes be discontinued. A costing for a potential replacement practice weapon, made of wood and therefore less likely to cause severe injury, is attached; see appendix 6c.”

The SOLDIERs practiced with their own weapons. They always had. They were the elite, and not concerned with the possibility of minor cuts and scratches; it was more important that they know their weapons and capabilities inside and out. Even the trainees used weighted training blades, as close to the real thing as possible, although considerably blunter. Yes, broken bones, bruises, cuts and contusions were the inevitable result of such a thing, but it was better than going out in the field and facing an enemy with a weapon you’d barely touched before then. At least here there was excellent medical care within easy reach, but that seemed to be the problem.

It was the next words that galled Sephiroth, coming as they did from office workers who had never fought a battle in their life.

“The use of training drills should be sufficient to ensure all military personnel reach the required level of skill for combat purposes; sparring between ShinRa personnel is not required as it places said personnel at risk of injury without accruing the company any potential benefit.”

Zack blinked, and a wicked grin crossed his face.

“Congratulations, Seph! You’re in charge of the new ShinRa baseball team!”


End file.
